he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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