Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
That accounts for only three of the penises
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
