things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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