His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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