i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
