You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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