ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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