Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
