you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
