He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
