K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
