OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
