I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
