My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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