Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
