Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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