No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
