just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
