Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
