we're blogging at a bar
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
