Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
