Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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