I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
