He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
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