Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's blow job season.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize
