so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
