Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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