I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
