Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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