census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So many bounce houses so little time
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
