I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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