Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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