go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Are we still banned from the library?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just pee around me
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
