My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
