On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm having to shit out rocks
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