we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
