Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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