also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
