You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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