this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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