Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
