so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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