return my video game
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
