I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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