We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
