; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
