Non-Jews are for practice
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
