He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
