You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
