I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
