So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
