She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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