We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
