I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
