Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
