Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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