Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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