will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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