guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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